Knowing what I'm doing...

I love the feeling of knowing what I'm doing. Or at least, being comfortable with only just sort of knowing but still not worried about doing it wrongly.

Having a first year grad student helper at the preschool to assist me with my hyperactive kids.. really reminds me a lot of me as a first year grad student. I remember my first supervisor telling me that I need to be more vocal. That I have to participate more in discussions regarding clients, and provide suggestions of activities and strategies to help our clients achieve their goals. I also remember feeling so damn lost during therapy, and wondering how the second year grad student I was shadowing could have it so together. She was confident, she gave her opinions to her supervisor, she was flexible and creative during therapy sessions. I remember thinking to myself "Will I be like that in my second year?"

I'd like to think that I have reached the level that my second year grad student did when she was in her second year. And I think I have. Which really makes me proud. Supervisory meetings about clients are now brainstorming and discussion sessions. Being with clients don't scare me or make me nervous anymore. I'm not afraid of planning just right before the session. And being in the preschool has definitely taught me that you can plan and plan activities, and most of the time, you have to tweak them. They're never going to work out exactly like how you planned! Also a good life lesson for me. I can plan and plan how I want my life to work out. But really, we all know all the plans are just going to go down the drain. Because life throws you scary curveballs sometimes that we just have to dodge and maneuver around.