It's getting Cold!

Winter is coming. So before it does, here are some Fall peektures.

 

The campus of Indiana University. Jo and I walked around, took pics of ourselves, enjoyed the scenery and weather.

And the short trip to Oliver Winery. 

Lovely lovely huh?!

Stomach's good this week!

I'm eating better this week. My stomach feels better than it did last week. Which is VERY GOOD. Food didn't settle well in my tummy the whole of last week, didn't feel comfortable at all! I think it was all the good food that I filled my tummy with this weekend...

Had Thai food with Jo for lunch on Saturday in Bloomington while catching up with each other in person. I had some kinda fish dish and picked on Jo's very very spicy noodles. Jo, I never really told you how uplifting you are. You are always optimistic and always look on the bright side of things. You're so independent, more so than me and Hui. And I am always so proud of you and everything you strive to achieve. You give me encouragement, and never judge our failures and mistakes when we report them to you. You give hugs and never fail to lift my spirit. Love you Jo! Then oooh we went to Oliver Winery and Dong and I tasted 8 different types of wines, and disagreed on which ones tasted good or bad. Of course, he preferred the stronger wines, and me the fruitier (don't taste like wine) wines... and left with a bottle of hard apple cider and some sweet pink wine. Then Turkish food for dinner! Jo and I had Pedis.. I think that's what they're called. They're like Turkish pizzas. Yummy Yummy! Then on Sunday... I had Mediterranean with Mel and her friends. Tried falafels for the first time. Falafels are balls of chickpeas that are deep fried, then stuffed into a pita. Mine had cucumbers and tomatoes and some kinda white dressing added to it too. It was delish! My new fav.. Turkish and Mediterranean food. :)

I forgot my "Eat to Live" habit that I developed from Daddy ever since starting grad school... Having to ALWAYS make my own food, and always trying to save and not eat outside as often, has made me into one of those "Live to Eat" people. Horror of all horrors.

Condition of stomach at the mo: FULL! Finished up the chicken teriyaki and rice from Bloomington... and finished a big disgusting soft apple (it was gross). I have 4 more disgusting soft apples to go. Ugh.

35 minutes of walking

Now that I am pretty much up to date with my blogging. I feel the need to blog about every little feat, or failure that I have achieved/not achieved.

Feat of the Day: Sucking it up, to enjoy the weather, and get some exercise, I walked home today. And the walk from campus to my apartment takes about 35 minutes or slightly more I would say. I walked for 35 whole minutes. It wasn't too cold, even though it should be by now. And the wind was just the right temperature too.

It felt good walking. Can't say that I'm going to do it again any time soon though. Haha.

I found a Four Leaf Clover

I remember as a young kid, reading a book and the girl in the book was scouting around for a four-leave clover in a field of clovers, and finally feeling so happy and lucky that she found one. Ever since then, I have always always dreamed of one day being able to find a four-leave clover, or I guess the more appropriate way of saying... Having a four-leave clover find me. Finding a four-leave clover is like looking for a needle in a haystack! Doesn't help that all clovers look the same anyway. And after scouting around for awhile, all the green petals of all the clovers start to mesh together and look like  green blobs... That's why I have always had that secret thought that four-leave clovers have to find you. You don't find it, it finds you. The idealist/romantist me has always kept a look out for four-leave clovers whenever I'm sitting in grass. This time.. in Bloomington, Indiana. With the company of Ms. Joliana Yee... My first four-leave clover found me. And I got so excited. I sat down in the grass while Joliana snapped away and took pictures of me and the scenery (haha!), and realized that I was sitting in a field of clovers. Of course, I looked... peered amongst the many clovers, and almost immediately IT FOUND ME! It's a sign of optimism. A sign for me to keep my head held high..

I'm passing my clover on to a person who needs it most. I hope it'll bring magical good luck and sprinkle you with joys when you least expect it within the next years. Keep it close to you okay? I'm going to be pissed if you throw it away.

Freedom (kinda) for the next TWO weeks!

That is a huge deal in grad school, considering that I have exams like every other week. How many times have I mentioned this in here, probably in every other post. Gotta stop saying that.

Neuro exam on Monday *check* even got the grade for that. Didn't do too badly myself ;)

Phonology exam today *check* it was harder than I expected.

Spontaneously planned dinner with the SLHS girls tomorrow night *looking forward to it*

Then, Legally Blond the musical after that *jumps up and down*

Dancing with Mel the roomie after that *haha*

Crash in bed and wait for Friday to come with Dong! *smiles*

Bloomington to see Joliana on Friday for my little taste of home *YAYYY!*

Looks like the bad week is going to end on a good note and I like that! Very very much.

Today I realized that negativity and a lack of self-esteem can really do something to a person. It can really destroy a person, and affect the people around you. Sure, the 2 hour lab on Wednesdays really really suck. But hey, suck it up. We're all sucking it up. We complain when we have to start lab and then we groan and moan our way through it. But don't get all crabby and full of hate just because you hate lab. We hate it as much as you do, but we owe it to ourselves to make it more bearable to each other. Negativity really brings everything for you, and everyone close to you down. 

I guess it's really hard for people who've had so many challenges in your life, and they just can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. What I tell myself each time is that if I can just get through this one hurdle the best I can, it'll all be over before I even know it. Then you'll look back at wonder at yourself, in awe at how far you've come from that one hurdle. Isn't that a good feeling? Today I learned that we should always give ourselves the benefit of our doubt and always think that we're worth so much more than we know ourselves to be. You have to give yourself some credit in the job that you do, the impact you make on people, the success you have achieved, and how much more you are capable of. Sometimes the more you put yourself down and worse, tell people about it, the more it seems like you're seeking empathy and reassurances that you're Not nothing, Not useless and Not a nobody. We all need to hear that sometimes from people, I need to hear it sometimes. But at the core of it, we need to believe it ourselves for our own sanity. 


Positivity and Confidence really does go a long way.

I have a problem.

I can't seem to keep my 'hatred' or 'dislike' or 'annoyance' towards people to myself. For some reason, whenever one of those feelings surfaces with a person I'm talking to or that I'm around with, immediately, and really immediately, people (especially those who know me well) are able to read either in my facial expression or my change in tone of voice or my one-word-answers that I'm annoyed.

My friends find it hilarious. And they always feel like laughing whenever they see me unintentionally turn away and make a face or just totally withdraw from the conversation or when I say something spiteful right back at them. The best friends are the ones that can tell just like that *snaps fingers* when I'm annoyed.

I had a study group today. Let me just say that after about 45 minutes into the study session, I had to turn away from the group and face the wall because of my unintentional obvious facial expressions that I would automatically make. Those expressions are my responses to things I find annoying and I can't even control them. They happen before I can stop them from displaying all over my face. Like when someone dominates the entire session and provides answers for every question and even talks over other people to get the point across - it kind of bothers me. Or when someone, out of the blue asks a random question that isn't even related to anything that we're talking about, interrupting the flow of everything. What is up with that? Ugh, and I hate listening to people talk with the word 'like' peppered between every other phrase or sentence. All these little annoying nothings really get on my nerves. So I had to turn away and look at the wall so they don't see the "I'm-so-annoyed-what-the-eff" facial expressions I make.

Maybe that's why I'm clippy and not-personal and judgmental towards my girlfriends' boyfriends when I first meet them. Then once I am able to discern that they're good people, I treat them nicer. Then when the boy does something so stupid and unforgiving in my eyes, I start being all formal and judgmental again when I see them. It's even worse when my girlfriends break up with their boyfriends and if I still see them around, sometimes I don't even give them the benefit of the doubt and don't really acknowledge their presence even though they're right in front of my eyes. I can make it really awkward for them, that I know. But hey, can't help it. You broke my friend's heart. No forgiving for you. Haha. Seriously. Annie once told me that it always seems like I am able to look right through a person and see the true person they are behind all the walls that they put up and it scares people like that. Scares them so much that they feel the obligation to always be on my good books, and always say hi to me when they see me, and always be on their best behavior in front of me. Now, I'm still talking about my girlfriend's boys. :) As for my guy friends' girls.. hmm, haven't met them, and haven't had to do any real judging of character and compatibility for them as of yet!

I should learn to keep my emotions in check. I tend to be like a fuse or something that gradually burns and burns until I burst. It's hard for me to like a person after I've had a bad impression on them. It's difficult for me to forgive friends when they make big big mistakes. I put the people that are important to me up on a pedestal, when they make one wrong move, hurting my feelings, it's difficult to get them back up on that pedestal again. I place high expectations on them and expect them to fulfill them, and when they make one wrong move, things start going downhill between us.

Have to keep those emotions in check huh.

Too extreme already lah, Suling!

There's Not a Thing that I Would Change...

This song "Just the Way You Are" by Bruno Mars is my latest obsession. I think of my lovely girlfriends that make up my home away from home. And what perfect timing for that song to come on at the new Oxford bar - Woods, that the girls and I stopped at for a quick look/shots/dance.

My weekend back in Oxford was refreshing. I got relatively little work done, but no worries. It was an awesome weekend nonetheless. The best weekends are the ones that you don't do work/study/worry isn't it? :)

It was such a good feeling to be at the same place with the girls all over again. Seeing all their pretty faces... and having good ol catch-ups and huggies again. Gave me a warm fuzzy feeling on the inside. Some things could have been better, but I can't complain I guess. Not everything or everyone for that matter, can work out exactly the way you want it to right? Sometimes there's only so much effort you can put in, the rest of it depends on others and how the circumstances unfold.

Actually physically being in Oxford this time, walking the streets, and looking at new faces was very very different this time. There were so much more unfamiliar faces. Streets of uptown Oxford were changing. New restaurants, constructions, 'big-gaping-holes-in-the-ground' replacing buildings that used to stand there... there was even construction on campus, and Shriver was a little different on the inside! Seemed like Miami was changing and leaving us (or me!) behind. Soon it is going to be an unfamiliar place, full of unfamiliar people. I guess it really is indication for me to move forward and not be so hummed up about being with my friends all together in Oxford again. I get the feeling that this might possibly be the last time we all get together in Oxford again. I'm really glad we did it.

The "visiting surprise" group. 

I miss them a whole lot. I miss the apartment and stupid things we did together. 

These people I will Love for Life! 

And here... picture of the night! *singing* "And when you smile, the whole world stops and stares for awhile. Coz you're amazing.. just the way you are!"

Now back to the real life... It's good... Two Exams (again..) next week - Phonetics and Neurology. Seems like just yesterday that I had my first Neuro exam. Now we're having our second, covering material that seem really impossible to study for and fit into the sulci and gyri of my brain. *sigh* Phonetics... umm.. we'll see how that one goes. 

Got tickets for the broadway musical, Legally Blonde  for this coming Thursday (after my exams) with Meryl and Laura. I'm excited for it. It's nice to have friends to plan events to go to! Even better when they have cars. Teehee. 

Latest Episode of Glee!

Just a few weeks ago, I realized how much I miss tv and anticipating new episodes of my favorite tv shows, and it hit me, that I could actually watch those new episodes online! So doing that has been my 'break between studying' or 'break before studying' or 'meal time company'... :) It has made me a happy camper indeed! Especially since the newest seasons of shows started the week that I decided to watch tv shows online! So I've been following episodes of Glee (the songs are much better than the first season), NCIS (I secretly find Gibbs white head of hair hot!) and Private Practice (I like the characters in here better than Grey's Anatomy).

Anyway, this week's episode of Glee was an interesting one. It was about spirituality and believing in God, or the existence of the higher power. This whole theme is triggered by Kurt's (one of the Glee members) father going into a coma and the prayers his friends said for him which was turned down because he didn't believe in God. This episode reminded me of conversations I've had with a certain someone during a difficult period of life.


People ask me if I believe in God. Yes. I kinda have to. There's no other way to explain so many things in this world.. like how the world just came about and existed the way we know it. Or how humans and animals and anything that gives life to this world was created so majestically with each its own wonder. There's no way to explain miracles that happen other than to say it's due to the force of a higher power, God. Despite saying all this, I have yet to complete give myself to this belief. It's a tough one. A tough leap of faith. And I'm really difficult with taking leaps of faith. I'm too cautious, and afraid I guess.

But anyway, this song "One of Us" on Glee this week is awesome. :) Just wanted to share it.

It's so nice to be Loved! :)

It feels so good to hear..

"Honestly, Truly looking forward to seeing you this weekend."

"Sulinggg! I miss you so much la! I can't wait to see you."

"You need to figure out a way to come back to my life again permanently!"

"I miss you so much Suling Lim"

"I miss weekends with you!"

I feel so loved. :D Teeheee... 

Visit from family!

Annie, and the Baldys came to visit this weekend. It was a great weekend. Couldn't have asked for better company to cheer me up. The laughter and cute smiles of the the little girls made me happy on the inside. Holding their hands and crossing the street made me miss my own little sister (yeah, I actually miss that terror of a sister I have). Rolling my eyes and being flabbergasted at comments from Kelly (the youngest) just totally cracked me up. Megan (the oldest) and all her angelic-ness made me want to have a daughter in the future as good as her. Scott trying to be all young and cool while talking to Annie and I was hilarious. Late night conversation in the lobby of the hotel until 2am was a comfort that will be even more precious as the years go by. We talked about jobs, the unknown future, the scary decisions of whether to leave behind and move on or take the plunge and try, about boys and all their complicated-ness, about the happy memories we made in college and about the people we want to be.

I miss the relationships I had in college. But I know, they're not 'a had'. They're 'a have'. If they are precious enough and worthy enough, I will always have them. If not, then maybe it's meant to be something else. Someone reminded me that we have to move forward. Always look forward and only look back to remember and to learn. - remember that Suling.

On another note. Anatomy exam this Wednesday. Yikes. 

Lady Antebellum on Thursday.

Then Friday... dangle the books out the window for a little bit. 

Then Saturday, reel the books back in and start cramming.

Grad school really is a lot of work. Senior year of college totally did not prepare me for this!