Knowing what I'm doing...

I love the feeling of knowing what I'm doing. Or at least, being comfortable with only just sort of knowing but still not worried about doing it wrongly.

Having a first year grad student helper at the preschool to assist me with my hyperactive kids.. really reminds me a lot of me as a first year grad student. I remember my first supervisor telling me that I need to be more vocal. That I have to participate more in discussions regarding clients, and provide suggestions of activities and strategies to help our clients achieve their goals. I also remember feeling so damn lost during therapy, and wondering how the second year grad student I was shadowing could have it so together. She was confident, she gave her opinions to her supervisor, she was flexible and creative during therapy sessions. I remember thinking to myself "Will I be like that in my second year?"

I'd like to think that I have reached the level that my second year grad student did when she was in her second year. And I think I have. Which really makes me proud. Supervisory meetings about clients are now brainstorming and discussion sessions. Being with clients don't scare me or make me nervous anymore. I'm not afraid of planning just right before the session. And being in the preschool has definitely taught me that you can plan and plan activities, and most of the time, you have to tweak them. They're never going to work out exactly like how you planned! Also a good life lesson for me. I can plan and plan how I want my life to work out. But really, we all know all the plans are just going to go down the drain. Because life throws you scary curveballs sometimes that we just have to dodge and maneuver around.

Inspiring...

Be who you were born to be. You must follow your heart, and be who you were born to be. Some of us were born to be musicians—to communicate intricate thoughts and rousing feelings with the strings of a guitar. Some of us were born to be poets—to touch people’s hearts with exquisite prose. Some of us were born to be—to create growth and opportunity where others saw rubbish. And still, some of us were born to be or do whatever it is, specifically, that moves you. Regardless of what you decide to do in your lifetime, you better feel it in every fiber of your being. You better be born to do it! Don’t waste your life fulfilling someone else’s dreams and desires.

Hmm... ponder moment.

After a hectic day of therapy at the preschool (Yes, poop-cleaning day again today! Luckily, lumpy and not mushy poop), my supervisor tells me... "You're very nurturing, Suling. You give instructions in a friendly way, but not too friendly that the kids think they can step all over you."

I don't think my family will say the same about me. :)

Happy Birthday lil bro!

Happy birthday! :) Love you!

Preschool Moments

Super precious moments with the kids three mornings a week, keeps me refreshed. :)

Boy: Do you want to hold my hand?
Girl: (Looks at boy) Okay.
Girl and Boy holds hands and starts walking. Boy starts swinging girl's hand.

Girl 1 and Girl 2 rarely talks to each other, but does therapy together so are familiar with each other.
Me: Okay girls, lets hold hands and go to the next room!
Girl 1: (goes up to Girl 2) and holds hands with Girl 2
Girl 2: (looks uncomfortable and stares at hands, then slowly closes her hand around Girl 1's hands)
Girl 1 and Girl 2 walk down the hallway together. No word said to each other. Just walking, hand-in-hand.

Another "Oh Crap!" day!

Sometimes I'm really surprised at how bimbo I can be. Taught my student the word 'absent-minded' the other day. She asked me for an example. Couldn't think of anything except... "Well, I'm an absent-minded person" followed by a rant of reasons of why I'm absent-minded.

Yesterday, woke up sleepily at 7am to get choc milk from the fridge, and found that the carton of white milk on the top shelf had leaked overnight to the bottom shelf (the carton was leaning sideways and was pretty full). And of course, even though I only had 20 minutes to get ready and chomp on breakfast, I couldn't leave the milk lying splattered on the bottom shelf. I had to clean it up. So I did. Then I couldn't for the life of me figure out how to stop the milk from leaking. So in my mind, I thought "Oh, just pour out enough milk into cups then you can lean it down sideways like last time but it won't be so full that it would leak out of the cover." So I did that, poured milk into the biggest cup I had, but the carton was still too full, and still leaking. And we didn't have enough space in the fridge for multiple cups of milk.

So I stared at the fridge for the longest time, and thought "Oh, I'll stand up the carton of milk on the bottom shelf." But nope, it didn't fit. Even thought of moving entire shelves up a rung to make room for the carton on the bottom shelf... but didn't do that coz it took up too much effort (plus it was a rather stupid idea!) Finally, I just gave up, and leaned the milk the same position as before but on the bottom shelf, and then I put a paper towel underneath it to collect the leaking milk. I even considered trying to plastic wrap the cover area of the carton with a rubber band around it but neck of the carton was too shallow (plus it was also a stupid idea!).

Finally, when I came back after a loong day, I complained to my roommate about the milk leaking and about how I did not know what the heck to do with it. He looked at me strangely and said "What do you mean you didn't know what to do with it? Just put it standing up on the top shelf. It fit on the top shelf standing up!" And I looked at him blankly and said "It did? Why didn't I try that? I tried fitting it in all the shelves (middle and bottom) but not the top!" In my mind while problem solving, I kept thinking, I shouldn't put it on the top shelf coz it's going to keep leaking to the bottom and that was what I was trying to prevent. So I didn't even think of trying to fit it standing up on the top shelf.

What can I say about myself and what goes on in my head? Sigh. Nothing.

Because of my Super Fail milk crisis that morning, I forgot that I had to dress up for clinic in the evening. So I wore jeans and got to the Preschool and had an "Oh crap!" moment aloud. After preschool, walked really fast 20 minutes along the highway all the way back to my apartment, with the laptop for clinic coz I was too caught up with myself to ask my friend to take it back to the department for me. Sweated all the while walking because of course, it had to be hot and of course I had to be wearing two tops.

Ended up driving to campus, and being 15 minutes late for tutoring.

Then at the end of my day, while walking to catch the bus, I realized "Hey! I drove. My car is at the parking garage! I don't need to take the bus!!!" The day would have been soo  much worse if I actually took the bus back, walked into my apartment and realized that I left my car on campus.

On my wish list!

 

 Read this

I always loved the power of words and how we can use it to express our deepest feelings for another person. I wish I was better at writing so that I could write letters that make others tear up, that people would want to keep forever... I wish I could write letters that inspire others, that make people feel truly special... Sadly, my failure to describe my feelings usually gets in the way of writing a truly romantic love note, or a thank you friendship note, or even a note to my parents to say hi! This book is totally on my wishlist.