Priorities, Priorities!

Yes.

That.

Priorities.

Have to always remember what they are.

It's the only way I keep myself from going BLEARGH from all the things going on inside my head.
GRE. Grad school applications. Transcript requests. Recommendation requests. Financial forms. Fusion advertising. Fusion dance. Literacy project. Language project. Tests. Work. Other lame crap.

Then that song came on...

I parted paths with Annie this morning, she walked to the Business building, and I to Bachelor's basement (Speech Therapy department) when Wakin Chou 周华建 's song (真心英雄- Sincere Hero) came on my Ipod. I listened to it and remembered China and everything I experienced there. The only reason that song is now in my Ipod is because of the Superband 纵贯线 concert that I attended all because of Yong (thanks Yong!). That was honestly one of the best concerts that I have ever been to. Being there in the crowd, listening to not just 1 singer but 4 very famous chinese singers (which btw, I only knew one of them) with a gazillion Chinese people all around me was so damn amazing! I remember thinking of my parents while enjoying myself. I thought about how much my mum especially would enjoy listening to Wakin Chou sing.. I thought I wouldn't know any of the songs that were sung but turns out I did. They were songs that some time or other, I've listened to before in my parents' car while they did their parental duty of driving me around.That only made my night even better!

Anyway, I digress. The song. That song, 真心英雄.. I listened on playback about 10 times today. I don't know why.. but for some reason, the lyrics just seemed so... inspiring.. and really rings true to me. I'm going to try and translate it as best I can:

There used to be a dream in my heart
to sing a song to forget all your pain 
Under the magnificent starry sky, who is the real hero
ordinary people touch my heart the most 
When there is no hate, there is no pain

I wish that people everywhere were full of love
Use our song to change the contents of your heart

I wish that your life from now on be extraodinary


Grasp life's every minute 
Go all out and achieve your heart's dreams
If you don't go through the wind and rain, how would you see the rainbow?

There's no one who can just simply succeed
Grasp every moment that touched you 
Embrace the friends you treasure 
Let true words and happy tears
Flow in your heart and mine.

This is probably a really bad translation, but it's kinda the gist of what it means. If anyone knows me well enough, they would say that I am a sentimental person. I know I am... This song, cheesy as it is.. (I hate it admit it, but I'm cheesy too) I still love it. Heck, I listened to it about 10 times today. It's a great song. 

My Last Fall in Miami

Fall in Miami is really the prettiest time, and I am really going to miss it. Walking to class with the golden red trees to stare at just really makes me happy inside. I don't know why. It's nicest when it's not freezing, and there's a slight breeze blowing the dry leaves down all around you. And you walk and hear the crackle of the leaves underneath your shoes. It just makes you want to smile and laugh while walking.. except you can't really do that because people are going to think you're nuts. But I always end up smiling anyway, with my hands in my pockets and I walk home instead of taking the bus, just so I can enjoy it a little longer.
Since it was Fall break last weekend and there weren't anyone around, the girls and I decided to wake up early in the morning and do a 'photo walk' around campus. We've been talking about doing this for a long time.. finally finally did it. It was great fun too!

The first picture of us. Throwing leaves in the air and being all excited about it.

That's the Miami Seal. It's tradition that no one is allowed to step on the seal unless you want to fail your next exam. So during the day, you see people walking around the seal to get to classes. It's like a mini roundabout for students.

Ah, and a re-creation of the famous Beatles picture. Except we look kinda 'fake' doing it. Haha. We waited till there weren't any cars and then ran across the road, posed and ran to the other side.

The few group pictures that we have. It was a challenge trying to find appropriate places to balance a camera on timer and then rushing back to be in the picture.

Can you tell we loved taking pictures of ourselves?

Isn't it just beautiful?

A Quiet Weekend.

Not many people are around on campus this weekend.. because it's Fall break weekend.
(not like it's that much of a break actually, more like just a three day weekend)
But hey, doesn't hurt to get slightly excited about it.
There are hardly any cars zooming around. There are hardly any people in general anywhere. Uptown is rather dead. It's kinda nice.

Me? Ah, I should use this weekend productively. As productive as possible and get all my shite done.

I don't know what it is, but it seems like there was a misery bug going around last week. Everyone looked down and felt down... and problems just seemed to be cropping up like when you least expect them to. And the weather, ah, it is FREEZING here. It's been wet and rainy the past week, not very exciting weather to wake up to every morning. Sigh. Let's hope the weather man does not disappoint us next week. At least it's bright and sunny today. The girls and I plan to take advantage of the lack of students around, take a "photo walk" around campus and have some fun.

I haven't been able to sleep soundly last week and it was really bothering me. I kept running through the long list to crap that I have before going to bed every night and it was really driving me crazy. I think about graduating and whether I will be able to survive graduate school, or even if I will be able to get into graduate school and I start worrying even more. I try to erase things from the 'blackboard' in my mind but it just keeps appearing on it. I erase and erase to no avail. Finally, I fall into a sleepless slumber (I read that phrase once in a book, haha). Or I have dreams of me running around, chasing something or someone that I can't remember. Then I wake up the next morning, feeling like I haven't had an ounce of sleep. I roll out of bed and give my housemates a "I'm pathetic" look and then proceed to get ready to go to class.

That has been me for the past week. Very unappealing, very unexciting... Bosan nyerrr...

I've been thinking... how do you know whether or not you're making the right decisions all the time? I keep going over things in my head, back and forth, back and forth... and then I think about how stupid I am for going back and forth and that I should just act on it instead of being a loser and filling up my mind with these stupid thoughts of thoughts. Then I act, and things backfire. Really backfire. Ah.. the irony of life. It keeps trying to get back at you no matter how hard you try.

This past week, I realized how lucky I am to know the things that make me happy: my home, my parents, my siblings, my friends and doing the things I love (things as small as painting my nails to the perfect smoothness and shininess gets me content). I never realized that there are people out there who find it difficult to answer the question of "What makes you happy?" or "Who makes you happy?" I was lucky enough to have had a childhood and a life that has been filled with fulfilling experiences that have taught me what it means to be happy, and what it means to love other people. I get off the phone with my friends and I think of how much they have changed my life and I just have to smile. I sit down to dinner with my family at home and I think of how much they have done for me and I feel so so glad that I have good relationships with each one of them. My experiences as a Speech Pathology major makes me so proud of what I will be capable of doing and all the worries of grad school applications temporarily go away and I remind myself that all the challenges that I have to go through will be worth it. Going dancing at the club for even an hour with the right people gets me on cloud nine and I leave the club feeling like I have the best life ever. Sadly, there are people who don't have the same feelings as I do.

Is it possible to feel empty inside, to not know what it means to be happy or to feel loved? 

How does a person love someone else if they don't know the happiness of loving other people?  

How do you build relationships if you are incapable of wanting to make others' happy just by doing small acts for them?

Ah, Birthday Celebrations...

October seems to be the month of birthdays! Ah, Birthdays... full of sunshine (in the hearts) and rainbows.. All the memorable happy moments... It's always fun.

 First it was Qiao Wen's birthday! Yeah she turned 21 so it was a big deal. We planned a whole scavenger hunt for her too and waited in the freezing cold under the Arch at 12am but she ruined it all by not following the clues and returning back to her dorm, not once but Twice during the hunt. Oh, Qiao Wen! haha. You know I wish you all things good this year..!!

 Ah, for the next night, Hui and I made all these! Jello shot drinks- lime, watermelon and strawberry. Yummy yummy!!!

Guess who came over to visit for the weekend!!! Ah, I miss JoNiana!!! Doesn't she look lovely.. She was basically our 'parent' who came to visit since it was Parents' Weekend that weekend as well.

 Ah, birthday dinner in Sushi Nara with all of us dressed up. Qiao Wen insisted we all wear black and white and she be the only one wearing color. tsk tsk.. I know, very demanding Birthday girl!!!

Sleepover at my Apt!!! Everyone just crammed on my bed for 2 hours just girl talking.. Guess who's the new white girl included in our sessions.. Haha.

Farewell lunch for JoNiana before her long drive back to Indiana University. *sobs*

Last Wednesday was TERESA's birthday! (like how your name's in caps?!) Of course, Qiao Wen kinda shoved ice cream cake in her face. Ah, my favorite Mulan (doesn't she remind you of Mulan!) whom I'm going to miss like crazy when she graduates. I hope you had a good birthday and I just want to know how glad I am that we're such good friends now. May this year go great for you! I love how I see you every single week now. ;D

AND THIS WAS LAST WEEK..

And this is my first outing with the Student Managers and Greg (in the blue sweater). Yeap, these are my "colleagues" in Alexander Dining Hall. I see them every week and we rock the jobs of 'running the dining hall and student workers', I must say. Haha.

 

Club Night last Friday!!!

Me and Jin at Club Night. Everyone thinks this is a photo worth framing. I think so too. =D

And that's Bo-Ann-Su... conquering the streets of Oxford. I swear those two girls have forced me to dress up more whenever I go out or even to class, just so that I don't look like the shabby housemate.

Not insane yet..

These few days, between trying to get started on studying for my Language Disorders as well as my Augmentative Alternative Communication classes, watching 4 movies/plays and comparing it to the readings of the plays for my English Literature class and composing 2 papers from that... my mind is also filled with preparing for my GRE exam, trying to get started on my graduate school applications, and also trying to choreograph a Chinese dance for Fusion... This semester really is crazy. Honestly think that I made the wrong judgment in taking too many Speech Path classes. Ah, I really have so much on my plate right now it's kind of overwhelming.

If not for the most random happy moments, I think I might just go into a slight bout of depression. I've been spending at least 3 hours every day this week at the Architecture Library to finish up the movies: Agamemnon, Eumenides and two versions of Oedipus... sounds deep and literature-y huh. It's old European literature, that's why. Spending that time in the library just gets me slightly brain dead. If you know me well, you will know that ever since forever, I have found it difficult to sit at a table and study. So forcing myself to sit at a table in front of the computer for 3 hours to watch a movie while taking notes, really is an energy-draining feat for me. At least in the end, I come back home to two very crazy housemates. When the three of us are at home together, we just end up 'playing' (I use that word because I can't describe what we do with any other word) the whole time. Bridget and her antics of running around the house acting like me. Annie with her online shopping fetish. Me... just staring at the two of them rolling my eyes. Then Bridget turns on her Ipod and sings at the top of her lungs, repeating the same few lines over and over again. Annie runs into the room and puts on some of her clothes showing us the 'type of style' that she wants to have. "Does this match? I want to be fashionable when I go to class, okay!!!" Bridget and I look at each other, we roll our eyes. Throughout all this, usually I'm the mellow one. Attempting to not pay attention to the crazy housemates. But in the end, they still drag me into their silly circle. "Open your eyes as wide as you can, SuLing!" they say.. (because they know I can't open my eyes any wider than they already are) and they burst out laughing. "This is how Hui opens her eyes," Bridget says and makes a Hui face. We crack up. Bridget came up with a lame one yesterday and said, "Girls! Whenever we stir anything now we have to do a little dance." (shakes her butt in a circular motion while saying something like "chike chike, chike chike") Annie indulges her and goes with the dance. Me? I just look at them, make a -__- face, and say "NO!!" Damn, I'm a pooper. haha.

Bridget's mum came over this past weekend just to look after us girls (more Bridget, really!). She cooked, cleaned and was just basically a mum to us for the weekend. It was nice and comforting. She made meatballs (they're delicious!) and gnocchi (I think that's how it's spelled - a kind of Italian potato pasta), mango and pineapple salsa for us to eat with chips, Turtle cake (chocolate and caramel cake), fried cauliflowers... it was so nice to have her around giving us random advice and laughing at the three of us when we're acting nuts together.

Then there's Hui's ever so often phonecalls with some crazy thing to tell me. Or needing me to say, "Stop thinking about him!" and then laughing at her silliness... Either that or she calls to brainstorm some brilliant idea that she has in her head... or, or she needs someone to express her frustration to. Then we end up talking about a whole bunch of random stuff for a long time..

And then there's my random hangouts with other people, like last night. Yeah, I try to branch out from my core group of friends every so often. Funny, I would not have done that in Freshman year. But I'm a Senior now! Managing to shoot every so often with Megan as my partner during 3 rounds of beer pong was so awesome that we won 2 out of 3 times.Bopping around to country music and club music. Listening to inappropriate talk (and rolling my eyes) by Alan about who's on top when a couple's having sex and looking at his pictures of him in a dress with makeup on... Then heading out to Skipper's and just chilling outside of it by the windows with the slight rain falling... The boys smoked cigars, I stayed away coz I hate the smoke. Megan and I danced to the music that was playing, just the two of us.

Ah, it's these moments that keep me sane and alive.

Here's another 15 Malaysia short movie called 'Meter'. It cracked me up.