I just finished my second and last Final Exam an hour ago! Cumulative exams in Speech Science and Language Disorders, is DONE! Now I just need to finish that dreaded last paragraph of my English final paper on Dante's Inferno on how disgusting/graphic the whole poem and movie is then I will really be DONE! No actually, I still need to submit my applications to Indiana University and Purdue University then I will really be done for now. So here I am uploading photos to my blog, just because I can, and because I have the time to do it. I have to do SOMETHING at least to celebrate!!!
Thanksgiving pictures... with the O'Connells and the Littles.
The wacky O'Connell sisters: Keely and Bridget
The very very pampered poodles of the family: Gwennie and Bianca.
Thanksgiving lunch with the Littles. My fourth one in a row.
During study breaks, this is what I did...
Surprise graduation party for Teresa slash going-away party for Jenny and Ryan
AAA Christmas get-together at Western Lodge where we played Apples to Apples, and had a very interesting gender-related knowledge board game of Battle of the Sexes!
This picture is here because it's my favorite from this month! It's like a picture from a J-Crew ad (even though none of us was wearing J-Crew).
Now that I can actually safely look forward to Winter Break without feeling like I'm being distracted from studying... here are the people that I will be spending my Winter Break with. I think it'll be the best Winter Break ever!!!
Of course, with my brother... nothing like having family around you during the holidays, right?!
My 3 best friends from Freshman year who have stuck by me ever since. We've watched each other grow and mature into young ladies and shared each others' happiness and sadness.
And him. He's going to be driving the 5 of us to Bloomington, Indiana to see Ms. Joliana and then him, the bro and I will be heading to Chicago for a week to spend a wonderful freezing Christmas there!
And on the drive back, hopefully, we'll overcome cat-hair allergies to stop by Ms. Jenny's place.
And the last week of break.. guess who I'll be seeing. Ms Mooney! Where? San Francisco.. Whoop whoop!!!
I haven't blogged in awhile... so much has happened, I don't even know where to start. Sometimes I feel like I blog just so that I can go back and read about my past memories because I more often than not don't have the ability to remember vivid details of the past. It takes a whole lot of description from a second or third person to try and jiggle my memory, and even so, things will only come back to me vaguely. When I'm in the reminiscing mood and I go back to read all that I have written, not gonna lie that even though I'm the one who wrote the posts (duh!) I still get surprised and shocked at how strongly I felt about that event at that time.. or about what happened in general because I forgot the details of it.
It will be 2 more days to a happy month for me! Yeah, this month has been great. Ever had one of those periods in your life when you rarely have horrible days. And even if people annoy you, things still look happy at the end of the day and the annoying things just fly out of your head? This month has been one of those for me. Had a few challenges but I think I've successfully tried my best to overcome them so I do feel good about myself. And I took the GRE again and I am happy with my score. It's not the best but I am happy with it. There's nothing like taking the GRE once and feeling like a loser and doubting all the choices that you made to study for it on your own. There's nothing like taking it the second time and feeling like you're going to break down during the math section because you honestly don't think you would do any better than the first time. Then there's nothing like finally getting done with the GRE and on the spot you click the button to see your results and you stare at it for a whole minute wondering how you could have gotten that score because you honestly thought you did waay worse than the numbers on the screen. Then you walk out with your butt numb from being glued to your seat for 3 and a half hours still in disbelief at your score. Then you're overwhelmed with content and relief that you don't have to make alternative plans about applying to graduate school and having to agree meekly to your parents' "I told you so! You should have listened to me and taken classes!" lecture.
For sure, I am still trying to combat that incessant case of Senioritis that every so often tends to hit me. I rarely do things at the last minute because I know that I really don't work well under pressure at the last minute. I don't do all-nighters. And I don't think well when put on the spot. But I am embarassed and guilty to confess that I have been pulling off quite a few last minute assignments this semester. And it has really bugged my conscience of being a 'good' student. I won't say that I'm the best student, but I do try. But this semester, has just been difficult for me to keep up with everything.
I just learned a very difficult lesson a few days ago, about friendships and being a support pillar to others. When do you stop judging whether or not a friend's decision is right or wrong?When do you voice out to your friends that you don't agree with the decisions they're making?Do you just watch them make their own falls, or do you still attempt to help them prevent those falls to the expense of your friendship?How do you deal with a friend overstepping the boundaries of friendship?How do you help a friend back up on their feet and give them the confidence that they can pull through the hard times? These are all such difficult questions to answer! This month, I've come to the conclusion that what I think about a friend's decisions is basically just 'what I think'. It ultimately comes down to that person's choice and the steps that they choose to take. They ask your opinion, you tell them. Then you back off and let them choose. If they start flailing because of their choices, you offer them a hand back up and a hug to reassure them that you're still there. You don't judge the choices they make even though you don't agree with them. Sure, you may not understand why they chose to make that call, or be so fast at forgiving, or for not standing by what they originally said, but it's okay... rant about it for awhile, be fiesty about it for a day, then leave it behind. That's what I always try do. Like my parents always tell me (I swear they think I get easily offended and annoyed, and yeah.. I do I guess), "Just let it go la girl. Aiyo, small things like that also get angry! How are you going to go out in life and face bigger things. All this is just small silly things!"
To you... stay strong. We'll be here for you when you need a hand. I'm happy that you took the first step. It may be a small one, but it will make all the difference.
2 more weeks of classes, 1 week of Final exams and then it's Winter Break!! woohooo!!
Time has really flown by this semester. I have always hated the few weeks after Thanksgiving Break. It's always so much more stressful than the other weeks of the semester.
Thanksgiving was good with the O'Connells. Ate a lot, rested a lot, shopped a lot... Ah.. the bliss of shopping really makes everything so much more better. I got great deals too, for all the things that I wanted. Sweaters *check* for $8 each. Boots *check* marked down from $70 to $20. Black Flats *check* for $12. Jeans *check* 2 pairs for $15 each. Tank tops *check* 2 pairs for $7 each. See! See! Good deals right!!!!
Been having an annoying cough since last week. Can't go to bed without a coughing fit and having to pop in a cough drop to suck on the entire night.
When you open it and find that pictures like these are posted of you...
Tinikling Performance at Diwali
Memories of performing at Diwali for my Senior Year. It cannot get better than that. How many of you can say you've performed at an Indian cultural show, let alone performed an indian dance on stage before (I did the bhangra!) Whoop whoop!
Then, there's pictures like these.. that make me cringe with embarassment but yet reminds me of the good ol' days of innocence.
4 Mawar days with Mrs Ng. Who knew, Mrs Ng and I would actually be friends till this day?
Thanksgiving break starts next Wednesday... wooohooo!
This break, I'll be spending it with the O'Connells.. Bridget decided to make Jin and I her 'show and tell' to bring back home with her. Thanks, B. I appreciate it.
She said, "Su su, come home with me. My mum would love having you and your brother home with us for Thanksgiving. Plus you and her will have so much fun entertaining each other. She'll teach you everything and make you do things with her like the last time when you were the only one who would sit down and decorate that piece of cardboard with her while Annie and I just did our own thing on the couch. It'll be so fun! Come come come!"
Haha. Who can resist that persuasive speech? Not I. So yeah, Thanksgiving with the O'Connells this year.
Can't say that I'm looking forward to that 9 hour drive all the way from Oxford to New York state though. Not New York city this time, but the suburbs area.
The housemates and I had one of our crazy ridiculous episodes again a few nights ago. Annie was making fun of how my 'best friend' arrives at irregular intervals every month ever since the semester started.
Annie: "Su, it's because you're sleeping around! You know how our cycle is affected by the girls you live with. Stop Sleeping Around! Stick to one bed!"(I jump from my bed to B's bed every other day, depending on who sleeps later)
Bridget: "It's because you're not around anymore! Su loves me more now that's why she sleeps with me. Don't be jealous!"
Annie: "Hey! I lived with her first. She loves me more"
Bridget: "She kissed me on the cheek the other day before leaving for class. She didn't do it for you!"
Annie: "WHAT! SU! Whatever! She hates your boy!"
Bridget: "For good reason! But she doesn't like yours too!"
Annie: "Su, who do you hate more...???"
Me: *laughing like crazy and how 2 girls are fighting over me*"I don't hate anyone. Don't put words in my mouth!"
Bridget and Annie: *races over to me to get kisses on the cheek*
Me: "ARRRGGGHHHHHHH. Sexual harassment!!!"
Luckily Dong was around to save me from the whole scenario... then the two of them started harassing him too.. -___-
The episodes end with the two of them having a 'scarf fight' by smacking each other with the ends of the scarf that they were wearing around the house (don't ask me why).
Yeah, you can probably guess by now who the mellow one in the house is... Me!
And the crazy ones... The two of them of course.
Imagine how unbearable and awkwardly weird it was when the both of them weren't talking to each other for a week! The house was a deathbed.. eerily quiet. With no "Ekkkkk"s from Annie and "Ehhhhh"s from Bridget things at Apt 11 really wasn't the same at all!
Ah, good times... good times at Apt 11. Have I told you girls how much you make me laugh and brighten up my cloudy days?
"Good friends are ones you can say the words poop, pee, and fart with. Whom you'll feel only 1 minute of embarassment with when they discovered that you accidentally forgot to flush the toilet."
Coz I didn't. And I felt bad. Haha. I have a memory problem. I hate acknowleging it but I really do. I think I'm like my mum. We get up from the couch and then head to do something, and we get distracted from doing that something because we see something else along the way that needs to be done, then we forget about what we were originally going to do... and then we walk around aimlessly, wondering what it is that we originally wanted to do. It's rather frustrating.
Like me, I walk to the kitchen to get some cili sos to eat with something, then I see plates piled in the sink. I stop, stare at it and then start washing it because I really cannot tahan seeing so damn many plates in the sink. So I first start putting away the clean dry dishes from the strainer into the cupboard, then I start washing. Then I have to wipe up the sink when I'm done. I turn over and look at the stove.. There are some stains of food from 'college kids' cooking. (Mum and dad, don't freak out) I wipe it off. Then I see that there are water stains on the counter, and wipe those off too. Oh, the Brita water filter isn't filled with water... so I fill that up. Then I head back to the living room to continue eating. I sit down, pick up my spoon... realize that I don't have my cili sos. So I put my bowl down with a sigh and go back into the kitchen to get my cili sos. Except that one of my housemates calls me to look at something. And I forget all about the cili sos all over again. Haha.
But anyway, I digress.
I guess I remember different things that people do for me, with me or say to me. And most of the time, it's not the type of presents they got me for Christimas or whatever.. it's other things like.. Annie, how she would always tell me "Suling, you know your opinions matter a lot to me. If it's anyone that I would listen to, it's you." or Hui who would always be my comrade right next to me (all the time) whenever we go out in groups. I don't know why it's always like that, but it just is. We stick to each other, and find one another across the sea of people when we lose sight of the other. My brother, whom despite us getting into petty arguments (most of time, I know I'm the one who starts it) would still do huge ass favors for me like moving all my apartment furniture on his own to his room. Or Dong, who would always always be willing to do any big or small favor for me, who's the person I can turn to when I need a break from everyone. Laila, who would always try on clothes with me without buying them, who would never ever judge any bad behavior or mine. Jovi, who despite so many years, still bothers to read my long ass complaining emails, whom I know when we finally meet again, we'll just pick up where we left off like that *snaps fingers*.Yuyee, whom I always think as that person who would run in the rain with me without an umbrella. Satvinder, whom always always drives me around when he cans... whom doesn't mind linking arms with me in the mall.
It's things like these I guess that leaves impressions on me. Imprints in my memory. Whatever you want to call it. Small things that span over a long period of time, know what I mean. Things that you know you can count on. That it's not that you expect that person to do, but that you know they would try their best to do if they could. It's not the flowers, or anything like that.
Then again, ,maybe I'm just making excuses for my bad memory and just justifying what I remember to be "more important".
Do you remember those bad weeks that you had..? And then when that week is over, a good week follows. There's that week where everything goes wrong... friends and arguing, and then the week where everyone's all fine and dandy with each other again, and the sun seems to be shining brighter than usual, or happy things seem to happen randomly every so often throughout the week. I think bad weeks or bad days just make us appreciate the happy days more. Without bad days, how are we to appreciate when the good days come along?
Over the past weekend, my friends and I performed our Filipino Tinikling dance at Diwali. YEAH! It's senior year and I actually got to perform at Diwali. It was really exciting. I should have told my parents about it, but with practices and rehearsals, things were rather hectic. We even added a short Indian Bhangra part in it. It was nothing less than Amazing!
Things at the apartment is back to normal. And I can't help but smile, walking through the door and seeing Annie and Bridget back in the living room, sitting across from each other, making fun of me. I had to rush back from class today because I received two desperate phonecalls from the both of them informing me of the arrival of our Forever 21 clothes. Yeah, I'm a subscriber to Forever21's online website, and received a promotion email about being able to buy clothes with free shipping from 10/31 to 11/2. Obviously we went online and shopped. We went a little crazy, not gonna lie. And have been waiting with anticipation since. I walked through the door and the two of them were already tearing the package apart like hungry crows to a carcass! Then of course, we did the much needed fashion show for each other. I didn't realize that the colors of the tops I picked out were all a different shade of green. I thought I picked out a variety of colors, but I guess not. Still happy with my purchases though. ;D
I haven't had Starbucks in ages. The Peppermint Hot Chocolate that I had last night while sitting outside was amazing. Oh, and while I was going through the crap in my wallet, I found 3 McD coupons for *free* medium fries, a McD gift card and a Starbucks giftcard that I received last Christmas that I totally forgot about.
I can tell.. this week will be a good one.
The house next to my aparment complex is having a party with music blasting and a tonne of people screaming. "Do you know what it feels like, loving someone.. who's in a rush to throw you away" *singing* Oh, I haven't heard that song in long time!
Did I tell you that the weather in Oxford in going to be sunny and warm (Autumn standards) this whole week. Even Better!
The group picture of us getting ready in my apartment, minus Qiao Wen and Bridget... There's the sailor, Wonder Woman (i didn't even know that I was Wonder Woman until someone pointed it out and I was like.. Oh, yeah! ;D), the office hottie, Christmas tree, Queen of Hearts, Dorothy from Wizard of Oz and the po-po (police woman)
Now, how often do you see Wonder Woman and a sailor hand in hand? =D
Awesome roomie picture.
Bumped into Megan in recession uptown.. ;D
This is how busy and packed Uptown always is during Halloween. Everyone's in costumes, roaming the streets. It's pretty crazy.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY 22nd BRIDGET!
May senior year, despite it's challenges and difficulties be a memorable one for you.
Opening her birthday pack from Annie and I. Amongst other stuff, we gave her a 'much wanted' "Everybody loves an asian boy" tshirt.
Party food in line with B's "Desperate Housewife" themed party. Pumpkin chip cookies, veggie and ranch dip, preppy colored sugar cookies, peanut butter bar... and green and pink napkins and plates.. ;D
That we owe it to ourselves to be a happy and content person. Yeah, life gets us down sometimes... you don't do well in the GRE, you get a bad grade for an exam, the friends you're with don't get along, your professor just ruined your day by calling you out in class, the guy you like don't exactly think that being friends with you is a good decision, the people you work with turn out to be jerks... but at the end of it all, I think it is up to ourselves to try and make ourselves happier. What is the use of dwelling on sad and angry emotions if it's going to end up consuming your mind and you can't even eat, sleep, party or do homework.
I know, easier said than done right? But honestly, life sucks sometimes. And the things we want end up slipping from our grasps. But what can we do about it? It happens. "Shit happens," as Joliana would always say. I say it's okay to wallow in sadness and anger and annoyance for a period of time, that's natural. But then after that short wallow period, I think we owe it to ourselves to pick up our feet and get on with our lives. I honestly don't think that it is at all healthy to those emotions consume your daily life. Why on earth would you want yourself to be miserable and let down by all these shitty things that life throws you. Dwelling in your hole of negative emotions only mean that you're letting yourself be defeated. Do you not love yourself enough to want to be happy?Do you not look around and see that other people around you are worried about you?Do you honestly think that wallowing in your so called 'grief' is going to change anything? It's not going to change anything.
You either choose to move on, or you continue shedding those useless tears. And honestly, why on earth would you want to waste your emotions, your thoughts, your tears... on a person who has continually hurt you, or who doesn't even really care about you? Why would you let your anger out on other people just because you are unhappy? You can't force circumstances to change directions. What you can do is to live with those circumstances and make peace with them. If you make a step and you realize that it's the wrong one, you can always take a step in a different direction, and the more steps you take, the further you will get from that wrong path. It doesn't mean that you wasted your time and energy taking that one wrong step, at least you know the outcome of that path and won't forever be wondering.
If you don't make that choice to be happy with yourself and the decisions you make,
it doesn't matter that it's a sunny day outside and the birds are chirping...
it doesn't matter that your friends are going out of their way to cheer you up...
it doesn't matter that you have a huge slice of yummy chocolate cake in front of you...
it doesn't matter that your favorite song came on the radio just as you turned it on...
Nothing will matter...
until you decide that you owe it to yourself to be happy.
It's the only way I keep myself from going BLEARGH from all the things going on inside my head.
GRE. Grad school applications. Transcript requests. Recommendation requests. Financial forms. Fusion advertising. Fusion dance. Literacy project. Language project. Tests. Work. Other lame crap.
I parted paths with Annie this morning, she walked to the Business building, and I to Bachelor's basement (Speech Therapy department) when Wakin Chou 周华建 's song (真心英雄- Sincere Hero) came on my Ipod. I listened to it and remembered China and everything I experienced there. The only reason that song is now in my Ipod is because of the Superband 纵贯线 concert that I attended all because of Yong (thanks Yong!). That was honestly one of the best concerts that I have ever been to. Being there in the crowd, listening to not just 1 singer but 4 very famous chinese singers (which btw, I only knew one of them) with a gazillion Chinese people all around me was so damn amazing! I remember thinking of my parents while enjoying myself. I thought about how much my mum especially would enjoy listening to Wakin Chou sing.. I thought I wouldn't know any of the songs that were sung but turns out I did. They were songs that some time or other, I've listened to before in my parents' car while they did their parental duty of driving me around.That only made my night even better!
Anyway, I digress. The song. That song, 真心英雄.. I listened on playback about 10 times today. I don't know why.. but for some reason, the lyrics just seemed so... inspiring.. and really rings true to me. I'm going to try and translate it as best I can:
There used to be a dream in my heart to sing a song to forget all your pain Under the magnificent starry sky, who is the real hero ordinary people touch my heart the most When there is no hate, there is no pain
I wish that people everywhere were full of love Use our song to change the contents of your heart
I wish that your life from now on be extraodinary
Grasp life's every minute Go all out and achieve your heart's dreams If you don't go through the wind and rain, how would you see the rainbow?
There's no one who can just simply succeed Grasp every moment that touched you Embrace the friends you treasure Let true words and happy tears Flow in your heart and mine.
This is probably a really bad translation, but it's kinda the gist of what it means. If anyone knows me well enough, they would say that I am a sentimental person. I know I am... This song, cheesy as it is.. (I hate it admit it, but I'm cheesy too) I still love it. Heck, I listened to it about 10 times today. It's a great song.
Fall in Miami is really the prettiest time, and I am really going to miss it. Walking to class with the golden red trees to stare at just really makes me happy inside. I don't know why. It's nicest when it's not freezing, and there's a slight breeze blowing the dry leaves down all around you. And you walk and hear the crackle of the leaves underneath your shoes. It just makes you want to smile and laugh while walking.. except you can't really do that because people are going to think you're nuts. But I always end up smiling anyway, with my hands in my pockets and I walk home instead of taking the bus, just so I can enjoy it a little longer.
Since it was Fall break last weekend and there weren't anyone around, the girls and I decided to wake up early in the morning and do a 'photo walk' around campus. We've been talking about doing this for a long time.. finally finally did it. It was great fun too!
The first picture of us. Throwing leaves in the air and being all excited about it.
That's the Miami Seal. It's tradition that no one is allowed to step on the seal unless you want to fail your next exam. So during the day, you see people walking around the seal to get to classes. It's like a mini roundabout for students.
Ah, and a re-creation of the famous Beatles picture. Except we look kinda 'fake' doing it. Haha. We waited till there weren't any cars and then ran across the road, posed and ran to the other side.
The few group pictures that we have. It was a challenge trying to find appropriate places to balance a camera on timer and then rushing back to be in the picture.
Can you tell we loved taking pictures of ourselves?
Not many people are around on campus this weekend.. because it's Fall break weekend. (not like it's that much of a break actually, more like just a three day weekend)
But hey, doesn't hurt to get slightly excited about it.
There are hardly any cars zooming around. There are hardly any people in general anywhere. Uptown is rather dead. It's kinda nice.
Me? Ah, I should use this weekend productively. As productive as possible and get all my shite done.
I don't know what it is, but it seems like there was a misery bug going around last week. Everyone looked down and felt down... and problems just seemed to be cropping up like when you least expect them to. And the weather, ah, it is FREEZING here. It's been wet and rainy the past week, not very exciting weather to wake up to every morning. Sigh. Let's hope the weather man does not disappoint us next week. At least it's bright and sunny today. The girls and I plan to take advantage of the lack of students around, take a "photo walk" around campus and have some fun.
I haven't been able to sleep soundly last week and it was really bothering me. I kept running through the long list to crap that I have before going to bed every night and it was really driving me crazy. I think about graduating and whether I will be able to survive graduate school, or even if I will be able to get into graduate school and I start worrying even more. I try to erase things from the 'blackboard' in my mind but it just keeps appearing on it. I erase and erase to no avail. Finally, I fall into a sleepless slumber (I read that phrase once in a book, haha). Or I have dreams of me running around, chasing something or someone that I can't remember. Then I wake up the next morning, feeling like I haven't had an ounce of sleep. I roll out of bed and give my housemates a "I'm pathetic" look and then proceed to get ready to go to class.
That has been me for the past week. Very unappealing, very unexciting... Bosan nyerrr...
I've been thinking... how do you know whether or not you're making the right decisions all the time? I keep going over things in my head, back and forth, back and forth... and then I think about how stupid I am for going back and forth and that I should just act on it instead of being a loser and filling up my mind with these stupid thoughts of thoughts. Then I act, and things backfire. Really backfire. Ah.. the irony of life. It keeps trying to get back at you no matter how hard you try.
This past week, I realized how lucky I am to know the things that make me happy: my home, my parents, my siblings, my friends and doing the things I love(things as small as painting my nails to the perfect smoothness and shininess gets me content). I never realized that there are people out there who find it difficult to answer the question of "What makes you happy?"or "Who makes you happy?" I was lucky enough to have had a childhood and a life that has been filled with fulfilling experiences that have taught me what it means to be happy, and what it means to love other people. I get off the phone with my friends and I think of how much they have changed my life and I just have to smile. I sit down to dinner with my family at home and I think of how much they have done for me and I feel so so glad that I have good relationships with each one of them. My experiences as a Speech Pathology major makes me so proud of what I will be capable of doing and all the worries of grad school applications temporarily go away and I remind myself that all the challenges that I have to go through will be worth it. Going dancing at the club for even an hour with the right people gets me on cloud nine and I leave the club feeling like I have the best life ever. Sadly, there are people who don't have the same feelings as I do.
Is it possible to feel empty inside, to not know what it means to be happy or to feel loved?
How does a person love someone else if they don't know the happiness of loving other people?
How do you build relationships if you are incapable of wanting to make others' happy just by doing small acts for them?
October seems to be the month of birthdays! Ah, Birthdays... full of sunshine (in the hearts) and rainbows.. All the memorable happy moments... It's always fun.
First it was Qiao Wen's birthday! Yeah she turned 21 so it was a big deal. We planned a whole scavenger hunt for her too and waited in the freezing cold under the Arch at 12am but she ruined it all by not following the clues and returning back to her dorm, not once but Twice during the hunt. Oh, Qiao Wen! haha. You know I wish you all things good this year..!!
Ah, for the next night, Hui and I made all these! Jello shot drinks- lime, watermelon and strawberry. Yummy yummy!!!
Guess who came over to visit for the weekend!!! Ah, I miss JoNiana!!! Doesn't she look lovely.. She was basically our 'parent' who came to visit since it was Parents' Weekend that weekend as well.
Ah, birthday dinner in Sushi Nara with all of us dressed up. Qiao Wen insisted we all wear black and white and she be the only one wearing color. tsk tsk.. I know, very demanding Birthday girl!!!
Sleepover at my Apt!!! Everyone just crammed on my bed for 2 hours just girl talking.. Guess who's the new white girl included in our sessions.. Haha.
Farewell lunch for JoNiana before her long drive back to Indiana University. *sobs*
Last Wednesday was TERESA's birthday! (like how your name's in caps?!) Of course, Qiao Wen kinda shoved ice cream cake in her face. Ah, my favorite Mulan (doesn't she remind you of Mulan!) whom I'm going to miss like crazy when she graduates. I hope you had a good birthday and I just want to know how glad I am that we're such good friends now. May this year go great for you! I love how I see you every single week now. ;D
AND THIS WAS LAST WEEK..
And this is my first outing with the Student Managers and Greg (in the blue sweater). Yeap, these are my "colleagues" in Alexander Dining Hall. I see them every week and we rock the jobs of 'running the dining hall and student workers', I must say. Haha.
Club Night last Friday!!!
Me and Jin at Club Night. Everyone thinks this is a photo worth framing. I think so too. =D
And that's Bo-Ann-Su... conquering the streets of Oxford. I swear those two girls have forced me to dress up more whenever I go out or even to class, just so that I don't look like the shabby housemate.
These few days, between trying to get started on studying for my Language Disorders as well as my Augmentative Alternative Communication classes, watching 4 movies/plays and comparing it to the readings of the plays for my English Literature class and composing 2 papers from that... my mind is also filled with preparing for my GRE exam, trying to get started on my graduate school applications, and also trying to choreograph a Chinese dance for Fusion... This semester really is crazy. Honestly think that I made the wrong judgment in taking too many Speech Path classes. Ah, I really have so much on my plate right now it's kind of overwhelming.
If not for the most random happy moments, I think I might just go into a slight bout of depression. I've been spending at least 3 hours every day this week at the Architecture Library to finish up the movies: Agamemnon, Eumenides and two versions of Oedipus... sounds deep and literature-y huh. It's old European literature, that's why. Spending that time in the library just gets me slightly brain dead. If you know me well, you will know that ever since forever, I have found it difficult to sit at a table and study. So forcing myself to sit at a table in front of the computer for 3 hours to watch a movie while taking notes, really is an energy-draining feat for me. At least in the end, I come back home to two very crazy housemates. When the three of us are at home together, we just end up 'playing' (I use that word because I can't describe what we do with any other word) the whole time. Bridget and her antics of running around the house acting like me. Annie with her online shopping fetish. Me... just staring at the two of them rolling my eyes. Then Bridget turns on her Ipod and sings at the top of her lungs, repeating the same few lines over and over again. Annie runs into the room and puts on some of her clothes showing us the 'type of style' that she wants to have. "Does this match? I want to be fashionable when I go to class, okay!!!"Bridget and I look at each other, we roll our eyes. Throughout all this, usually I'm the mellow one. Attempting to not pay attention to the crazy housemates. But in the end, they still drag me into their silly circle. "Open your eyes as wide as you can, SuLing!"they say.. (because they know I can't open my eyes any wider than they already are) and they burst out laughing. "This is how Hui opens her eyes," Bridget says and makes a Hui face. We crack up. Bridget came up with a lame one yesterday and said, "Girls! Whenever we stir anything now we have to do a little dance."(shakes her butt in a circular motion while saying something like "chike chike, chike chike") Annie indulges her and goes with the dance. Me? I just look at them, make a -__- face, and say "NO!!" Damn, I'm a pooper. haha.
Bridget's mum came over this past weekend just to look after us girls (more Bridget, really!). She cooked, cleaned and was just basically a mum to us for the weekend. It was nice and comforting. She made meatballs (they're delicious!) and gnocchi (I think that's how it's spelled - a kind of Italian potato pasta), mango and pineapple salsa for us to eat with chips, Turtle cake (chocolate and caramel cake), fried cauliflowers... it was so nice to have her around giving us random advice and laughing at the three of us when we're acting nuts together.
Then there's Hui's ever so often phonecalls with some crazy thing to tell me. Or needing me to say, "Stop thinking about him!"and then laughing at her silliness... Either that or she calls to brainstorm some brilliant idea that she has in her head... or, or she needs someone to express her frustration to. Then we end up talking about a whole bunch of random stuff for a long time..
And then there's my random hangouts with other people, like last night. Yeah, I try to branch out from my core group of friends every so often. Funny, I would not have done that in Freshman year. But I'm a Senior now! Managing to shoot every so often with Megan as my partner during 3 rounds of beer pong was so awesome that we won 2 out of 3 times.Bopping around to country music and club music. Listening to inappropriate talk (and rolling my eyes) by Alan about who's on top when a couple's having sex and looking at his pictures of him in a dress with makeup on... Then heading out to Skipper's and just chilling outside of it by the windows with the slight rain falling... The boys smoked cigars, I stayed away coz I hate the smoke. Megan and I danced to the music that was playing, just the two of us.
Ah, it's these moments that keep me sane and alive.
Here's another 15 Malaysia short movie called 'Meter'. It cracked me up.
It's been raining this for the past few days here in Oxford. Walking outside is like walking in a blanket of humidity. I love it. It reminds me of home. I've started missing home already, even though it's only been less than two months that I've left. That's weird huh. I think the going back and forth home has taken a toll from me. Sometimes when we have to say goodbyes, people make the comment that they wished that the person who visited them never did come, or that they never did visit the place that they did.. all because they don't want to say goodbye. All because goodbyes are just too hard. I'm different that way. I hate goodbyes, really I do. However, the sadder the goodbye, the more they get me thinking of the good memories that I've created that led up to that goodbye. Does that make sense? In a way, it gives me comfort in saying that goodbye.
I was walking along the pavements on campus amidst a backdrop of rain and red brick buildings, and I see this car stopped in front of one of the buildings and a guy and girl steps out. The guy holds his arms wide open to give the girl a hug. And there they were, raindrops on their heads. Saying goodbye to each other. Don't know who they are, or where he's going. All I know is that I stopped for a moment, just to capture that moment for myself. Then I got to thinking of the many many goodbyes that I have said throughout my life.
The goodbyes between changing schools... those really leave an impact on me. I don't remember much of the goodbyes that I said (or I hope I said) when leaving kindergarten to move on to primary school. But I remember the goodbyes I said and the tshirt signing and 'autograph book signing' that I did on the last day of primary school. The promises that I made with some people of how we will forever stay friends. (That didn't really work out). But still. Those people, I still remember till this day. I remember the ridiculous crush I had. The quadrangle that I stared at every morning before 'beratur time' from the balcony of the first floor. I remember the boys playing sepak takraw in the morning. And the small school bus that I took every opportunity to get on at the end of school just so that I could get on the bus with certain people.
Then there was the high school goodbye. That was just a blur. Somehow I remember it being a lot of fun. Actually, now that I think about it, I don't remember much of saying goodbyes. I am still good friends with most of my high school girlfriends and I am so thankful for that. Saying goodbye to them every summer before leaving for the US.. now that's hard. I always have thoughts of whether things will change between us the next time I see them the following year. Or what if something happens and we don't stay friends any more. That's why I take every opportunity to try to meet up with them. In a way, they're the people that keep me grounded to my roots. I see them every year and I remember all that we went through together- what used to be our 'hardship of high school' that now we know isn't really real 'hardship'. We update each other on our lives and our achievements throughout the year. We offer words of comfort, words of encouragement... and exchange hugs and hand-holding. Yeah, if you don't know by now, I'm a big huggy and hand-holding person.
Soon, very very soon.. it'll be time to say goodbye to the place that I've made home for the last 3 years. To the red brick buildings that I found a pain in the butt to learn how to differentiate in Freshman year.. that I have truly learned to love. I have to say goodbye to the jobs and the people that made my jobs so worthwhile. I am so blessed to have found my niche here in Miami, I don't know if I'll be ready to say goodbye to it all. So many people go through college hating their college experience and wishing they could just 'get outta here'. I've met some amazing people who have painted colors in my life, who make me want to be a better person. If not for them and the push that they give me to achieve as much as I can here, I don't think I'll be as positive and fond of my college experience. I described my college years in my Statement of Purpose to graduate school as "not just an educational experience but also a path of self-discovery for me". Am I ready to face graduate school? Am I ready to start it all over again in a different school, and a different city on my own? Aah, all these questions.
But see what I mean... I'm not fond of goodbyes.. but the harder the goodbye, the more you know that the experience you had with that person, or that place... was so much more worthwhile to go through and later say goodbye to, than never having gone through at all. If we chose to never say goodbye to people or experiences, then we would never have anything to live for, nothing to add splashes of color and emotions to our life. Things would remain so stagnant, and life would seem so meaningless and we would never appreciate all that we are blessed with.
Hosts of Apt11's first party for the brother's birthday.
Love them
A part of the scene of Apt11's party.
Happy Birthday Ding Dong! I forget how old you are already. :)
