Inspirational

Just watched Invictus for the second time, not in the theatre this time. And it is still just as inspirational as it was the first time. Makes you want to wake up from your slumber and change the world. I love love love movies like that. The poem that was given by Nelson Mandela to the president of the South African rugby team, was an old Ernest Henley poem, that still has the ability to bring out the fighter and the survivor in a person.

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.
 - Ernest Henley 


 I am the master of my fate. I am the captain of my soul. Once I start working, I am going to pay for myself to go to Africa on a volunteer trip. It is going to happen. I am going to make sure that it does. :)

Since I'm on a rant of poems.. I might as well post this one up too. That I have kept close to me my whole life. It was introduced to me by my old English teacher. And when I had to do a reading of a poem in class, this was the one I chose. And I have to say that it is very close to me and my life, and always gives me comfort.

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.
- Robert Frost

Lately, I've been thinking...

... about relationships. All relationships. Not just that between a guy and a girl, but also between friends.. maybe between family sometimes.

When do you draw the line in a relationship, any relationship... that a person cannot treat you that way? As girls, I think we fall in love with someone maybe so deeply, or we find a friend that we could truly click with in the beginning, and we get so comfortable with having that someone in your life that we lose sight of the person we were in the beginning before the relationship started. We lose sight of the expectations that we brought into the relationship, and we settle for what is given to us or what the other person can give us. I think it's a gradual process, and it's not something we notice ourselves doing, or the other person doing. Until one day, all of a sudden, it hits you... that things are different, and not at all what you had in mind coming into the relationship. But as girls, we keep wondering and hoping that if we stick it out just a little bit more, maybe things will change. Maybe that friend will stop being mean and will stop taking you for granted.. maybe that friend will realize that you're a good enough friend to keep around... Maybe that boy you love will start treating this relationship like something that's good enough to cherish just like you do. Maybe he'll start treating you like the princess of his life. Maybe, just maybe he'll start thinking of you as the person he can go to for anything in his life. Maybe, once he gets a job he'll stop hitting you or abusing you.

Maybe. Just Maybe.

When do we stop waiting for the Maybe.? And realizing that maybe she really doesn't think of you as an important enough friend to keep in touch with more often. Maybe, just maybe, she really has moved on to other friends. Maybe.. that really is the person he is, and that he really cannot change to someone else. Maybe, he really is that much of a jerk and that he truly doesn't deserve you?

Maybe we're scared of what we have to deal with, the whole ocean of emotions when we finally decide that the Maybe really is just that - a Maybe. If it's a Maybe in the beginning of the relationship, then I do think that the other person deserves the benefit of the doubt to change that Maybe to a Really. But as the relationship goes on, if the Maybe stays as it is, I've realized that that's a big red flag for us girls to start taking action. What action you may ask.. I don't know the answer to that. Maybe an action to try and change something in her or him. To stir up some kind of realization of what their responsibilities are in the relationship. But once you've done all that, and nothing has changed... maybe it is time for us to face the reality of the relationship - that maybe it has progressed to the level that it has meant to progress to, and can go no further. It's a difficult difficult reality to accept... and there's no easy way to accept it. No easy way at all.

If only we were all provided with a handbook about relationships - telling everyone what is an appropriate way to act to keep a relationship healthy and happy. The handbook should of course also tell us what to do when it's time for a relationship to end. And on the flip side, also, how to begin a relationship. It should inform us of red flags that we should be looking out for, and guide us in our decisions in a relationship. It should remind us to not lose sight of who we are as an individual.. and yet teach us how to develop and progress together as a pair. Unfortunately, there really is no such handbook. I guess that's to encourage us to learn our own lessons and to teach us to make our own decisions, and develop our own ways of line-drawing in a relationship.

I recently learned from a friend who's about the get married, that some churches in the US require a couple to attend pre-marital counseling sessions before they decide to say their vows to each other. I think that that is a really good idea. I think before I get married, I'm going to require my partner to attend a few pre-marital counseling sessions with me. Better we decide to draw the line before walking down the aisle, than having to draw a very difficult divorce line some time during the marriage. Plus, I think these sessions will help us find out inner thoughts and values that we never knew about the other person. If he refuses to attend those sessions, red flag for me to run for my life. Lol.

This year, my prayers are that my friends and I are strong enough to draw lines wherever needed to: in work, couple and friend relationships. That if shaky lines are drawn, we help each other fill in the dots and weak spots. And we are able to stay close enough to help each other up when one has fallen, even if we have to lift the person up from the ground.. we will. Also, that we throw each other lifelines to help each other swim through the crazy sea of emotions, so none of us will be flailing.

Can you tell, I love my girlfriends. They really are my lifelines. :)

Interesting that I found these on pinterest.com.