The final 2 weeks (and 2 days) Stretch!

Yeap, it's the final stretch for the semester. Hard to believe how quickly it's gone by and how much I'm "used" to my new life now. Ah, crazy crazy. In the beginning when I first moved here, it was hard to even see myself getting used to the "adult life" of a grad student. The life of having to cook meals for myself every night and making sure there would be leftovers to pack for lunch the next day. The life of having to juggle the many exams and assignments that are constantly being handed out week after week. The life of quiet weekends in the apartment with so much lesser social plans compared to when I was in undergrad. A life without my "family" around me constantly.

But I did it :) I still have good long distance relationships with my friends and boy and I am so thankful for that. Because they keep me sane, and keep me excited about random stuff just like the old times except we don't see each other as much any more, but talk on the phone or online so much more often. It is easier to keep in touch with some, but not for others, which at times get me down. But I guess that's life. I imagine myself as an older adult with only a handful of close friends that I talk to constantly. As for the others that I still treasure as my close friends that I don't get to talk to as often, I hope they know that I will always be someone they can call to talk whenever they want, but there's only so many times that I will be initiating calls to them.

The final 2 weeks (and 2 days).... There's so much to be done!! ARGH. Is it bad that I can't wait for it to be over?!

A Pet Peeve I need to control

I love making phone calls with friends, and if I didn't have homework/schoolwork/assignments, I would honestly be talking on the phone all the time. I love calling up friends and catching up on the latest happenings in their lives. I love calling friends to hear their voice to cheer  me up when I'm feeling moody. I call up friends to cry and to laugh about random stuff. I call Dong every day just to hear his voice, and tell him what I did for the day. I used to wonder why girls always had to talk to their boys every day, or every few hours. It was even weirder to me when the girl sees their boyfriend the entire day and yet calls him right after parting from him to talk to him yet some more. "I won't be like that. I don't think I'll even have that many things to talk about with him. Plus, after seeing him for the whole day, I'm pretty sure we've talked enough for the whole day" - That's me in the past. "Psssshhhh!!"- Me in the future scoffing at me in the past. "The you now, is exactly like how you didn't think you would be" Now, that's comforting to know isn't it?  -___-

My pet peeve: Calling people and then never getting a call back, because they didn't realize I called. I guess "never" is too strong a word. I know they are bound to call me back eventually, just not on the same day, or same hour that I called. I actually get a little mad when they finally do call back, especially if I've been waiting to talk to them. Mind you, this could be anyone.. When people say "I'll call you back tomorrow", "I'll talk to you later okay?", I actually believe them. And sit around waiting for their phone call. And proud ol me, will control myself from calling back because I'd like to know that people would remember what they said and actually call me back. And then when they finally call back, if I don't hear a "Sorry I missed your phone call", or "sorry it took me so long to call you back" I actually get really annoyed about it.

Why does one stupid little thing bother me so much? One of my many gazillion pet peeves that really comes to haunt me about every two weeks.. O_O

My Bed...

Is my place for sleeping (of course).
Also reading before sleeping- right now the choice of reading material is "Jia - A novel of North Korea" by HyeJin Kim.
Where I sit to eat my dinner and lunches most days.
The place I laze on to use my computer.
I lie on to watch movies or tv shows online.
Where I study and cram for my neverending exams.
Where I sprawl out on to "pou dim wah chuk" -talk on the phone.

I'm a a "bed potato"... especially this week.

"Bed Potato", according to UrbanDictionary:
A person who is so lazy that they never make it to the couch to be a couch potato, instead remaining in bed all day and only getting up for food, drink, and bathroom usage.

Damn! That's me that's me!!!
Argh. I hate it.

Come on Thanksgiving. I'm a teensy bit tired of school.

How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard

- From the movie "Annie" 

Thanks for all the good memories 

from the beginning when we were just friends

until now.

I can't remember a time in the past 

even though we were friends 

that you've ever refused to be there for me.

Be it rides to and from the airport,

or a strong pair of hands to help me move, 

or a manly shoulder to cry on,

or trips to the grocery store.

It was always you I asked

You always saying Yes

Thank you for that. 

For everything.  
For still saying Yes. 

For the past,
and of course, the present.

Horrible horrible dream....

You know how we sometimes have that dream where all your teeth falls off one by one and you're left with a mouth full of gums? Know that dream? Every so often, I dream of not having teeth. It's pretty common amongst my unconscious night thoughts.

This time, and I think I've dreamt of this before but forgot about it. Because it seemed so familiar to me. This time, I dreamt that I woke up and went to the bathroom. I took out my retainer and teeth guard like normal, and proceeded to gargle my mouth with water. While gargling, I could feel shards of my teeth breaking off into the water that I was gargling. I freaked. And a ziplock bag appeared magically and I spit the water and shards of teeth into the bag. So many pieces of my teeth came out. It was like I was gargling water mixed with bits of my teeth. Not whole teeth but bits of teeth, like I chewed up my teeth in the night or something but my retainer and teeth guard still held them in place and when I took them out all the bits couldn't stay together! I checked my teeth in the mirror and found bits and pieces missing here and there so it looked all jagged and uneven.
Then I ran out of the bathroom and showed Dong my teeth bits in the ziplock bag. "It's okay. It's okay. No big deal," he said. And of course I freaked out even more.

Then the dream faded into nothing.

Later, when I really did wake up and really went to the bathroom to take my retainer and teeth guard off and started gargling my mouth. I freaked a little and spit out the water into the sink, luckily no bits of teeth came out.

I think this dream is just a sign that I am grinding my teeth like crazy again. And that the teeth guard isn't stopping my grinding. Daammnnn it.

I think of you when I hear this.

Everytime I hear this song,
I think of us attempting to ballroom dance in Social Dance class and at the dance events. :)
I think of you twirling me, and dipping me.

And I smile.

Happy Deepavali!

Indian buffet last night. And I ate more than needed. Came back with an Indian food baby that only started settling at around 2am. Great hilarious company over amazing food... that made everything so much better. And bumping into an ex-Sri Amanian while staring at people waiting in line was so surprising and comforting :)

And today, Purdue's Diwali show to cap off Deepavali. :D


While waiting for the food baby to settle down last night. I watched The Secret Garden. I loved the novel (by Frances Hodgson Burnett) when I was younger, and still love it. I haven't read it in such a long time, I don't even know if I actually have a copy of the book at home in my bookshelf. Hmm...

Take A Personality Test!

It can be very enlightening. It's rather bizarre and unnerving to see exactly who you are all compacted into a paragraph.


Take the HumanMetrics Personality Test! *click*

And then read more about your personality results here.. *click* 

This is me. I am an ESFJ - Extraverted Feeling with Introverted Sensing aka The Caregiver!

ESFJs are people persons - they love people. They are warmly interested in others. They use their Sensing and Judging characteristics to gather specific, detailed information about others, and turn this information into supportive judgments.

The ESFJ takes their responsibilities very seriously, and is very dependable. They value security and stability, and have a strong focus on the details of life. They are very giving people, who get a lot of their personal satisfaction from the happiness of others. They want to be appreciated for who they are, and what they give. They're very sensitive to others, and freely give practical care. 

ESFJs are such caring individuals, that they sometimes have a hard time seeing or accepting a difficult truth about someone they care about. They are extremely good at reading others, and often change their own manner to be more pleasing to whoever they're with at the moment.  

All ESFJs have a natural tendency to want to control their environment. Their dominant function demands structure and organization, and seeks closure. ESFJs are most comfortable with structured environments. They're not likely to enjoy having to do things which involve abstract, theoretical concepts, or impersonal analysis. They do enjoy creating order and structure, and are very good at tasks which require these kinds of skills. ESFJs should be careful about controling people in their lives who do not wish to be controlled.  

ESFJs at their best are warm, sympathetic, helpful, cooperative, tactful, down-to-earth, practical, thorough, consistent, organized, enthusiastic, and energetic. They enjoy tradition and security, and will seek stable lives that are rich in contact with friends and family.  

Dong and Hui took the test too!
Dong is an INTJ - Introverted Intuition with Extraverted Thinking - The Scientist
and Hui is an ESTJ - Extraverted Thinking with Introverted Sensing - The Guardian

Of course we analyzed each others' personality and decided that the descriptions really does describe each others' personalities.

Pretty fascinating yet slightly painful to see unwanted characteristics that you know belong to you deep down inside that you find hard to admit, all poured out in words.

I just realized something...

I have successfully passed and got over the "Beginning Period". Hui, did you realize that? We have successfully got over that hump of a beginnning!

All last summer, I would be so overwhelmed by anxiety whenever I thought about having to uproot the life I knew and was so familiar with to a place so foreign and unknown. A place that I would only be seeing for the first time the day I move in. I was dreading it so much. Thinking about my new apartment, my new roommate, and the whole unfamiliarity of it all was just too much and was taking a toll on everything! It is from all these feelings throughout the summer and throughout the beginning of this semester that I realized the fact that my stomach is actually able to "feel". Like really. My nervousness and anxiety made my stomach not want any food. It made my stomach crave for daddy's cooking just for a taste of familiarity and love. It tossed and turned and churned everything out too fast for normal. Then the beginning of the semester, it didn't feel hungry very much and food couldn't really satisfy it. Then, just recently, it started settling and being happy. It craves food and I actually wants to be full and content. Just like the state of self that I am in now. Content and comfortable.

I crossed that hump. Without even realizing that I have. There's no specific moment where you realize that you've crossed from the unknown to the known. Without even looking for the end of the bridge, you realize you're already there.

And that really feels good. It's always the crossing of the hump that is the most difficult. Reminder for me to tell myself that whenever I start anew, the beginning is always the hardest, after that, things do get easier and the unfamiliar becomes familiar. I don't know why moving to Lafayette, Indiana was so much harder than me studying abroad in China.