Lately...

I've been blogging so much less. Just too much to think about, too many worries to put down in web ink, and just a lesser of an urge to blog. Everytime I decide to blog, I look at a blank page, and I can't think of anything exciting to put down, and everything I type resolves to turn into worrywart writing for the public to see. That definitely cannot be appealing in any form or color. So much has been happening all around me, and a new sub-chapter has definitely began... and it's definitely been exciting and new. But all I can put down in writing is worrisome depressing crap that just makes me an out-of-the-closet Debbie Downer if anyone reads it. Without even trying, I've already talked around my worries without completely defining them.. see what I mean.

Moving on.

My externship at the elementary school has started. The first few days, were pretty much a reconfirmation to me that I do not want to work in the schools. But this past few days and weeks has definitely moved me off the 'dislike' path of working in the schools. Maybe I'm starting to be more open to the idea of working around kids all day, and the idea of having legit vacation days. But is it enough to really sway me from wanting to learn all about dysphagia and dealing with fascinating diseases in the hospital? Still not quite sure yet.

Just returned to real life from a 4-day weekend in Chicago and definitely ended up loving Chicago waay more than I thought I would. Is it the people? Or is it just the feeling that Chicago gives me. The good eats that you can find around every corner, the quaint neighborhoods and adorable houses that make you always think "I wanna live in a house like that!", the Chinese bakeries that I can run to whenever I need a taste of home, the few people that I love who make me love Chicago more, the love I get from them whenever I'm there... Chicago, you're really making me like you more and more. How about you open up more jobs for hiring in the gazillion hospitals that call you home, and actually give me a glimmer of a chance to stay? Even if it's just for a year?

Recently, my friends and I have started to think that maybe we are each others' soulmates. And that we're meant to grow old with each other and keep each other company until the end. Seems like our friendships are the only thing (other than our parents) that has survived through thick and thin, mountains of problems and worries, distance, and life changes. My friendships have been the truly consistent things in my life these past 2 years since I began my journey to become a 'grown-up'. Late night phone calls, no matter what time just to hear each other cry, early phone calls the morning after just to hear a loving voice the next day to keep you going throughout that bound-to-be shitty day, weekend calls just to keep each other company, every-so-often emails, texts and facebook messages to make each other laugh, the occasional photo to remind the other how much they're missed, the birthday cards and mini-gifts... It's more than we even get from boys. Why is that? How is it that boys can be so disappointing and so heartbreaking sometimes? How can they be so unreliable that they can fall short of friendships between girls?

Questions to ponder...