Being with Just Me.

It's different having only myself to entertain and take care of. Last year and the years before, I always had my girlfriends around to keep me company. I was never really alone a whole lot. I had me and them to entertain. And we took care of each other. We cooked for each other and had little dinner/movie parties in each others' apartments. Then last year, he and I would cook together, for each other and Jin, and then we would talk and poke fun over dinner. Not gonna lie, I do miss it a lot. I'm starting to get used to my "single life" but I won't say that I love it. Nowadays, I cook dinner on my own and keep the leftovers for lunch and dinner the next day if I can. Eating lunch every day on campus tends to get pricey, so I usually pack something and eat it in between classes or tutoring. 

Because cooking for yourself seems like such a hassle there's always the temptation to fill your stomach with whatever crap you can find. But I try not to do that because it's really unhealthy. I have an empty, un-homey living room so I don't even eat meals there like I would always do in my old apartment. Instead I eat meals in my room, sitting on my bed, watching a movie or something online, either that or talking on the phone with someone.

Sounds kinda sad doesn't it? It was a little depressing the first 2 weeks I would say... but now... I think I'm finally "used to it", I guess. It's habit now for me to get back from class, dump my bag on the ground by my bed, turn on the computer, and start loading a series/movie. Talk a little to the housemate about how our days went. Then I make dinner and plonk myself on my bed and watch the series/movie.

Then it's study time. Or at least, I try to study. o_O

Then bed time. Honestly, I don't do a whole lot after classes. That's basically my regular routine.

No dinner party to attend, or cooking dinner for a buncha people.. or cooking with someone. No playing stupid hilarious catch phrase with the roomies... or curling up and watching a movie with anyone... or laughing over dinner at episodes of Friends or Sex in the City.

When you see the same people every day in classes, it's not very often that people would want to have dinners with each other because everyone kinda wants to just go back and relax and get down to studying.

Ah, the life of a grad student! Really, not much excitement. Really not much of a social life either... tsk tsk.

You know what's sad... is that it's not really just the life of a grad student. It's more of the life of an Adult! This is how it will always be from today onwards till goodness knows when.

After all that's said, I do know however that I am not truly alone. I have been blessed and lucky to have a lot of amazing people in my life. And if not for them, I would really truly be alone. I have someone that wishes me good morning, and good night every day. I have parents who worry about how I'm spending my days. I have great girlfriends whom I'm developing even better relationships with even though we're now miles apart. I now have a place I can return to to get some love and hugs when I'm down. :)