I hate this feeling of worry.

These few days, worrying about my visa documents have really taken a toll on me. It's constantly on my mind and I am constantly trying to map out a timeline for what I should do once I get my documents. I am such a worry wart, it drives me crazy. I think and think and worry and worry about something until I get it done. I don't know why. Frantic phonecalls to and from Hui and frantic emails and phonecalls to the US every other night is horrible! Seriously, can the documents come already??! It's taken long enough!

I am scared to go back to the US which is very very unlike me. I am always the kind who is excited to start somewhere new and experience new things. But this time, I am so nervous, I don't have the time to feel excited. Going back to the US means that I have to figure out move-in to my new apartment in Purdue (which by the way, the girl I am planning to live with hasn't made up her mind about me yet)... I have to get some furniture. I have to unpack luggage. I have to learn how to move around by myself around Purdue and we all know how horrible my sense of directions are. I guess I have to do the whole *use the same route every day until I am familiar enough to branch out and take shortcuts*. I have to make friends and get to know people all over again... But I guess it is about time for a change right? It is about time I get out of the Oxford bubble and get out into the world again. It is about time I get to know new people instead of being too comfortable with the ones I know I can count on. It's about time I do some real clinic work regarding my major and step up to the plate in facing the future.

It is all very scary thoughts and my heart races whenever I think about it. I know this nervousness will change into excitement once everything settles down (once I get my freaking visa documents!) I mean, what am I even nervous about? I have 'home' just 3 hours away from Purdue anyway... nothing to worry about. When things get a little rough and I need a break, it is comforting to know that 'home' is just 3 hours away.