I'm a Graduate

I'm back in Malaysia now. Sitting in the very messy study room trying to blog about how I feel about being a fresh graduate. When I was a young girl, I never could see that far into the future and think about being a graduate from university. It was too difficult a picture to visualize. But here I am. A fresh graduate. And it feels weird. Being home feels weird. It is good. But still weird. After 4 years of living on my own in the US, it is difficult to once again be back and be living with the parents. Any decision I make doesn't just involve me.. but involves the whole house. o_o

Graduation weekend was a helluva weekend. Things were so hectic and I barely even had time to breathe. What with the moving out, packing, layaning the parents, meeting the friends' parents, oh and of course graduating...!! It was a crazy weekend. I had 4-5 hours of sleep every night from Thursday till Monday. And of course had to fall sick in the midst of it. - made the weekend so much better.. Not! I've always wanted my parents to see Oxford and to see Miami University.. I wanted them to see the way the bro and I live. Eat at the places we eat, see the places we see when we walk to class, see the place we work, meet the friends we know. That was the nice part of having them around. I think they now understand the inconveniences of living in a small town, as well as the happy side of living in a small town.

Graduation really is a bittersweet event. Sweet because it means that I finally managed to earn a college degree (I don't care what people say about it just being a piece of paper. It's a piece of paper that symbolizes the fact that the 4 years of me working hard, and parents spending money on me was worth it!). Bitter because it means that I have to close yet another chapter of my life. I have to seal relationships that I have made all throughout my 4 years. Who knows when I will see most of friends I've made again? Throughout the 4 years, some relationships have blossomed and grown. Some somehow unwillingly withered and there's no common ground anymore. Some was hurt towards the end without wanting it to. But I guess that's how relationships go.

It's time for a new beginning after the end of this summer. Graduate School in Purdue. Making friends all over again. Having to get used to a different life again. Alone. Because even though I'll be only 3 hours away from Oxford. He won't be around every day to save me anymore. Will I get used to it? Will it be too hard? Then there's always the question of will I be able to find friends? Will I love the program? Will I be able to start it all again on my own? Why must beginnings be so difficult?

A more happy, optimistic post to come... :D