Trying to Balance...

"Problems arise in that one has to find a balance between what people need from you and what you need for yourself".


I don't know why but I have an incessant need to have to please people. Not people that I barely know, but people that I really know. People that are so close to me. People that I care about. I'm like Monica from friends, I can't say a firm "No, I can't" to people.  I find it too difficult. If I can do it, sometimes even if I can't, I would go out of the way to try and do it. I say yes because I want to help them, I want to do things for them. I care about them, and I would go out of the way for them. But sometimes I wonder, would they really go out of the way for me? I know most of them would, but at the same time they care about themselves too and also think about themselves first. Am I doing too much of myself that slowly, I am losing my own voice? Am I doing too much for others that I forget to do things for myself? Sometimes when I decide I should be selfish and do what I want to do for myself for a change, I find myself caring too much about how others would feel about my decision. Would they think me as selfish? Would they get annoyed at me and think that I am ignoring them?

I always make decisions to please other people without thinking of myself. Because honestly, I am easy going enough to be able to go along with what others want to do.. not all the time but most of the time at least. Sometimes I think that everyone else is like me.. that they can go along with what others decide but honestly that is not the case. I have to realize that I can't please everyone and sometimes I really need to make decisions for myself no matter what others say.

Okay.. now.. gonna start thinking of the beach and the beach only... :D